Getting a big girl job…


Guys and gals I have crossed the threshold into adulthood, or at least dipped my calloused big toe into the water. It has been four roller coaster days of non-stop insanity punctuated by hurried trips to the ladies room and bad coffee.

Okay so maybe that is not an accurate depiction. Honestly, “Administrative Assistant” is a just a bad-ass name for someone who can always be found filing papers, playing with extra staples, or silently crying as she accidentally (and repeatedly) paper cuts her fingers.

While this may not sounds like fun to some, I have found that I thrive in an environment that as ordered at the filing cabinets that I spend every day laboring over. I get to be all fancy-secretary like and type things into the computer and everyone smiles and is nice to me because they need me to do the work that they don’t want to do.

There are other perks too. I GET MY OWN CUBICLE!!! What more could a girl want? Nothing. The answer is nothing. BUT WAIT, there is more. I was introduced to Doughnut Joe and I think I found my new best friend. He is a guy named Joe who works at the office. Every Thursday he walks around with a box of doughnuts and offers them to you. Delivers it right there to your cubicle. This is the dream man. Doughnuts delivered to your own personal cubicle.

Sadly, I am the only person in the office under twenty and not engaged nor married (and with no hope on the horizon). The age gap is glaring…as is the maturity gap because I am a twelve year old boy trapped in a nineteen year old girl’s body. As much as I try to enjoy my job, when I am sitting at the big table in the break room by myself, just sippin’ my juice box and munching on the turkey sandwich my mom made for me, watching the other employees laugh and interact, I can’t help but realize….

This is awkward.


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